


The Balance

by Samyiswriting



Series: The Drarry Multiverse [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adult Draco Malfoy, Adult Harry Potter, Established Relationship, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Mental Link, Supportive Harry Potter, Worried Harry Potter, always a happy ending well kinda anyway, mention of dumbledore's death, not really fluff but they love each other dearly, three Words Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:01:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24697246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samyiswriting/pseuds/Samyiswriting
Summary: Harry and Draco return to the place where the horror began. But this time it is to help Draco. To bring back what has been forgotten.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Series: The Drarry Multiverse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1785529
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	The Balance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pauleonotis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pauleonotis/gifts).



> This work is part of the "I just write whatever because I feel like it" - series.  
> Where I write and wrote short, long, sweet, funny, exciting, sad, in short, countless Drarry Oneshots that I just HAD to write for various reasons (the biggest being that I don't want to miss Drarry in my day-to-day life, even if I don't have enough time for big projects). They certainly deserve to be read, but they are just that: Oneshots. Little scenes. Nothing more, nothing less.
> 
> "The Balance" was a 3-word-prompt, written for Pauleonotis (Thank youu again XD)  
> The Prompt: Astronomy Tower, Tears and Dawn
> 
> ~As always: Thank you Larni, for checking if this whole thing is even English<3~

“This is going to be fine. Of course! Nothing can go wrong, right?”

Harry didn’t feel like the emotional support he was supposed to be in this situation. Not surprisingly, he more than nervously pushed open the door to the platform of the Astronomy Tower and looked around worried. Everything was dark, only the moon and a few stars provided the necessary light. Perfect conditions for their project.

“No need to be so tense. The Healer wouldn't have recommended it if it was too risky,” Draco replied, a little bit of well-hidden restlessness in his voice. He looked around on the platform, no reaction to be seen.

Harry sighed. He wondered how he had let himself be convinced into this madness. But it was probably for the best.

“Is this place good? Or should I rather stand where I-?” Draco faltered.

Draco still showed no reaction, but Harry suspected that his own facial expression had become independent. He didn't like this place. Not since Dumbledore died. And that this experience brought them back here after years was even less pleasing to him.

“Yeah, maybe that's better. I think you were standing about here.” Harry gestured in the approximate direction; he didn’t really trust his memory.

“Harry, if this is too much for you, you don't have to stay.”

There it was. Harry had already heard enough of this sentence. But there was no question. Of course, he would support Draco, no matter how uncomfortable it was for him.

“Who's tense now? I'm staying.”

Draco just shrugged, of course. He only had a rough idea of what he was getting himself into. Harry was afraid Draco would soon lose his calm attitude.

“All right, come here! I have to cast the spell.”

Harry followed the call. He knew what would happen now, he had made the connection with Draco hundreds of times before. Even if only for a few seconds. Draco's Healer had insisted on preparing them sufficiently, so they had practiced restlessly until he’d been satisfied.

 _“Mr. Potter, you will be the bridge to reality. It's incredibly important that you don't lose yourself in memories.”_ That's what the Healer had said and it had sounded easy to Harry. But now that he was actually where it all had happened… He had thought it would be easier.

Leaning his forehead against Draco's, their wands united in their hands, Harry closed his eyes and concentrated on freeing his mind while Draco quietly began to speak the incantation.

It wasn’t simply Legilimency that they would use here. The spell was more complex, allowing them to withdraw completely into their minds. Quite useful to search for a particular memory, but also very dangerous, because it is easy to get lost in the past.

That's why Harry was here. To bring Draco back.

_Can you hear me?_

Harry flinched a little, Draco's voice was unusual every time it sounded in his head and didn't come out of the blond wizard's mouth.

_I'll take that as a yes._

Harry disengaged himself from their position and looked at Draco for a moment, who returned the look calmly. He didn't know what he was getting himself into here. Of course he was calm.

_You're worried._

“No,” lied Harry. The connection would let Draco know he wasn't telling the truth, but he didn't care. He didn't want to make Draco nervous.

_Harry…_

“It's all right, okay? We've talked about this. I know how important this is to you!”

Draco sighed, then nodded. “It'll be fine.”

Harry closed his eyes, concentrated on Draco and his thoughts. That was just the jump-start, soon he had to break free and stay in reality.

Draco's memories flew past him, flashed up, faded. It was almost too fast, but Harry knew Draco was searching. This place, it was supposed to help him find it.

An impatient wheeze of Draco almost brought Harry back to reality prematurely.

_You'll find it, stop worrying!_

This time Draco snorted, but in his mind voice and Harry almost laughed. The former Slytherin was quickly brought to drive up the wall. Usually Harry enjoyed this a little too much.

_I can't find it, I'll need yours._

Harry frowned. He knew that Draco was good at assessing his abilities, but the decision seemed a bit hasty to him.

_Not yet._

_Harry, I'm serious! I won't find it. I only need the first 3 seconds…._

Harry rubbed his temples; Draco's memories flew past him faster and faster in front of his inner eye. Everything in him was reluctant to give Draco the memory he asked of him. He knew that Draco thought Harry was so coy because the memory hurt him and although that certainly added to his discomfort, it wasn't the whole truth. With the pictures would come the emotions and he didn't want Draco to see the full extent.

_I can find it for you, you just have to- Can you slow this down?_

Draco's mind voice growled annoyed, but the stream of memories actually slowed down. Harry almost sighed in relief as he began to search in rapid succession.

A white peacock on a green meadow, a broomstick between his legs, the autumn wind in his hair while he turned brown leaves red and yellow again with wandless magic. Draco's childhood memories. So many holes, so much blurred or erased. Harry understood why Draco took this risk.

The feeling of parchment in his ink-dyed fingers, the splashing in front of round windows, loud laughter that filled the Slytherin Common Room. Hogwarts. Harry was on the right track.

_Why don't you just show me your memory? This would be so much faster._

Draco sounded almost bored.

_Shh, I'm close!_

Cold hands on his wrist pulling him to class, the tiredness that occupied his limbs while he was studying late at night, green eyes, dark hair…

_Potter! That’s private!_

Harry could feel the memory being wrested from him, he immediately slipped into another, a harmless one.

_It's not private, it's me! I was literally there when you looked at me! And stop calling me that!_

Snow - no, ice! So much ice and music, the rustling of dress robes, more music, not very good music.

_You won't find it._

Draco was right, not here. Not in fourth year. Harry let the stream of memories float past him faster. He didn’t want to surrender yet, he felt that he was close. Too close to give up.

_Harry…_

_Just a minute! I think I almost got it!_

_You’re wrong. You won't find it._

“Draco, can you shut up, I'm trying to concentrate!” Harry had said it out loud, hoping it would have more effect than his mind voice.

He kept looking.

Red eyes, snakeskin, stone walls, Hogwarts, an apple, a chirp, pain. So much pain and hate. Tears and blood, the smell of iron, the smell of death, water. More pain. Pain from one wound, from multiple wounds. Again the memory was wrested from him, but Harry went into the next one without comment. He was close. So close.

And there it was.

Wind cutting his skin, an old man with white hair in front of him, the trembling of his body. Words that didn’t reach him. Harry's heart skipped a beat.

_There it is._

_I can't see it._

_You- What? Of course! This is your memory; I can see it right here in front of me!_

_I know there's something there, I just can't see what it is. It's… hidden._

This time Harry sighed both in his mind voice and in reality. That was bad. Very bad. The Healer had warned them that this could happen. Draco had repressed this memory, but they had never been able to pinpoint the exact time it had happened.

 _“When it has been too long, sometimes it’s not possible to reawaken the memory through external influences and the spell alone,”_ the Healer had said. _“There are other methods to access the memory, but it’s risky. Mr. Malfoy, it may be that you can only awaken a_ _distorted version of your memory; that wouldn't bring your parents back.”_

Harry had been furious when Draco had said that he still wanted to hear about the methods. Draco hadn't understood why Harry had gotten angry. Of course not. He didn't remember, how could he know?

_Draco, please-_

_I have to do this, Harry. I can't help it!_

Harry's heart grew heavy. His worst fears would come true. He didn't want Draco to go through that pain. There was a reason why he had repressed this memory, why his mind wanted to protect him from it! It was too much; it might throw off Draco's balance. It could tear him apart.

_It's going to be hell._

_I know._

No, Draco didn't know. He couldn't have known. He had forgotten.

_You will not only awake this memory. You'll live through them all. In one fell swoop._

_I know._

Harry exhaled noisily.

_Draco, I- Are you sure?_

_Yes._

_How can you be sure? You don't know what to expect. You can't even imagine how painful-_

_No, you don't understand. I forgot them! Forgot, Harry! My own parents!_

_“A fairly common side effect,”_ the Healer had said. _“When our mind represses a memory for our own protection, it sets off a chain reaction that makes us forget even the most important things or people.”_

The chain reaction would have spared no one. Harry knew he was lucky Draco hadn't forgotten him. No, he had forgotten his parents instead.

At first, only fragments had been missing, but eventually Draco hadn't even seen them anymore. Even when Narzissa took Draco's hand, the gesture was tormented, as if she was not his mother, but a distant relative he met for the first time in his life.

It had taken months to find out which memory had triggered this chain reaction. And just as long to prepare this night, to reawaken the memory, to undo everything.

_Your parents were no saints, Draco. Your mind was trying to protect you. Your father-_

_I know that._

No, Draco didn't know. He couldn't have known. He just thought he knew.

_You wouldn't want to forget them either, would you? They're dead, you wouldn't even have to see them, but you wouldn't want to forget them. The memory of them, everyone assumes that it just hurts you, but you love it. There is pain, there is despair, but there is also love and happiness. Joy and hope. Everything is a balance, you said so yourself._

Harry was silent and Draco continued speaking softly.

_You think the pain will throw off my balance, but it won't. The pain, the memory, everything I have forgotten, they are part of the balance. I need them. So, please-_

And then Harry kissed Draco's cool fingers, pressed them to his lips, and when he let go, he nodded.

_The risk is high. If you see my memory but it doesn’t activate your own, then you will only keep a distorted version. Your parents will remain strangers, your spirit remains veiled._

_Harry, I kno-_

_And you will feel my emotions from the memory. You have to resist feeling them, do you understand? If you start to believe my emotions, then -_

Then you will know that I hated you. Then you won't be able to forgive me. Then you'll never be able to believe again that I feel nothing but love for you. Then your memory will be distorted and you might forget that you love me. That I love you. Oh, Draco…

 _Trust me. I know I can do this_.

Harry nodded gently, holding Draco's fingers in his tight grip and tried to calm his heart. He trusted Draco. Of course he did.

Entering his own stream of memories, Harry hesitated one last time.

_Ready?_

_Yes._

Harry concentrated, saw the night, saw the Astronomy Tower, saw the pain, saw Draco, saw the old dying man, then released the memory for Draco and opened his eyes. His part was done, now it was on Draco to remember. 

And Draco did. He remembered everything, every detail and Harry stayed with him. Remained his bridge to reality.

He watched. Watched as the love of his life screamed, lashed out, cried for help, whimpered, suffered pain and sold his soul to the devil once again.

And he did nothing. Only holding the cool fingers, set free the tears that ran down his cheeks lonely and were carried away by the wind.

He waited. Waited for Draco's cries to die down, for their connection to fade, for Draco to return to reality and sink to his knees in Harry's arms.

And then, as dawn broke in the east, he held Draco. And he never let go of him.


End file.
